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Jarod Kintz quotes and sayings

Jarod Kintz motivational quote : A blanket could be used to foil slave traders. But so could tinfoil and leftover meatloaf. Geez, the whole Civil War could have been avoided if only Lincoln had known that little trick.
Jarod Kintz motivational quote : Love is an art. Mine could fill a museum the size of your heart.
Jarod Kintz motivational quote : Clothes are expensive. Save money and become a nudist. Remember: Fashions may change, but naked is always in style.
Jarod Kintz motivational quote : Music can elevate man to new heights. Especially elevator music.
Jarod Kintz motivational quote : When I got married, I could not have chosen a more gorgeous, loving, or perfect woman to crush than the one I broke up with to be with my wife.
Jarod Kintz motivational quote : I cook. My favorite thing to make is love.
Jarod Kintz motivational quote : I wish I could bottle up my penis and sell it at a garage sale. But first I need to get a garage.
Jarod Kintz motivational quote : People are temporary, but love is eternal.
Jarod Kintz motivational quote : The radio signal was scrambled, and so were my eggs. I got tired of eating commercial breaks for breakfast.
Jarod Kintz motivational quote : The wealthier I get, the more money I will have to not have, because my goal in getting is giving, and nothing is better than charity.
Jarod Kintz motivational quote : If you're a cannibal, an Olympic sprinter would be considered fast food.
Jarod Kintz motivational quote : Trees shaped like deer should not be ridden like benches if they get stuck up in other trees. No hunting farming allowed. Fishing only.
Jarod Kintz motivational quote : To express our love, we carved a heart into the trunk of a tree, which I later cut down and turned into a cabinet to more efficiently hold all our love.
Jarod Kintz motivational quote : I drink coffee like other men paint pictures of naked women. I do it because I love the full body.