T. J. Miller quotes and sayings
June 4, 1981
I would say that awards are for children. Because children need a tangible representation of their achievement. And as adults, you have to settle for the respect and admiration of your peers.
People dream their whole lives of their Oscar speech; I dreamt my whole life of hosting the Oscars.
You just put yourself into your work, and you can do anything you want, depending on how hard you want to work for it.
Stuff that I write isn't as similar to the stuff that I'm in, but I don't really care. I just do comedy.
I don't believe in alcohol. It's a sort of a medicinal necessity for the human condition, none of that stuff. I'm not a gambling man.
I'm having a difficult time killing my parents.
It's always fun to agree to be in a movie when you have no idea what it's actually going to be!
There is no place for a person like me in a world that only takes itself seriously. Satire is so necessary but fairly ineffective.
I actually prefer Twitter as a medium, and I also got into Periscope for a second, but I'm still trying to figure out what to do with it. I can't figure out if the only important thing about it is the live broadcast, or if it's an interesting kind of way to log what you do.
It's the comedy that guides me. The acting and all that stuff comes second. It's equally important, but I just try to do that as best as I can.
I feel like I've forcefully been thrust into the tech world, and I've enjoyed every minute of it.
I know that, as a comedian, I've made great strides because I've worked as hard as a person can work at being at least wildly amusing.
I do believe that in the future there will be a movie called 'Deadpool vs. Wolverine'.
My face is oblong. But the best grooming is confidence.
I don't know how much the economy has changed since Jonathan Swift's 'A Modest Proposal.'.
It doesn't matter to me if I'm in love with my performance, so I watch all of my performances to understand and learn from them and figure out what's working and what's not. And I see the movies that I'm in in the theater a lot.
My father really told me, seriously, if you want something, you can have it, but you may have to work harder than anyone else around you.
Fame is very isolating. It changes your reality.
Listen to my voice - I sound like I'm permanently congested.
One of the exciting things about an entanglement puzzle is there's no end to it. Once you solve how to take it apart, you have to solve how to put it back together.
Mucinex were like, 'Would you like to be the Mucinex man? You sound like you're sick right now'. In each spot, they give me a little bit of room to do something strange. And in a world of fractured mediums, where there is no zeitgeist, and you get your comedy from your phone, it's all content.
I think the physical comedy in action sequences is fantastic. Like, '21 Jump Street' did a great job with that.
I consider myself a fairly ethical individual while I do have a lot of dichotomies within me. We're all victims of our own hypocrisy at times.
I like hip-hop, but I don't like concerts. There's, like, sweat on people's backs.
I'm a student of comedy in general, so I've always loved Billy Crystal. But I'm a different type of showman. I'm a clown and a jester.
I don't get along much with myself.
I'll invent a lie. Ricky Gervais has done anything interesting since 'The Office'. There's a lie right there.
I am trying to do comedy on every single medium. I consider myself a public servant.
I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.
The moment in which you make somebody laugh, you're only doing it to make them laugh and be happy. Then afterward you can be like, 'Oh, I just want the attention. I feel so good that everybody's listening to me and I got the approval that I need.'.
I'm not, like, an action-hero guy.
I don't know that I would host the Golden Globes or the Emmys because I don't think they have the appreciation for irreverence that the Critics Choice does.
Hollywood is the only thing more ridiculous than Silicon Valley. There's nowhere else where it's stranger.
If I can make someone laugh, I lift them out of their fundamentally tragic existence.
There's sketch, improv, writing, acting, music, and badminton. Those are the seven forms of comedy. But I do like the idea of being an auteur in the sense of writing and being in your own stuff.
If there is one thing that makes me unique, it's that I riff a lot.
When it's all you, you can't blame a bear. You gotta bear the burden yourself.
I find Denver's hipster scene to be fully unique.
'Extract' was kind of a grown up 'Office Space' in the sense of talking about the ennui of being a successful person in America if you don't have some real passion in your life for something to care about.
I'm a Nietzschean scholar. I've read an immense amount about nihilism and existentialism.
I don't really know how to act that much. I'm quite good at comedy, but it's mostly acting naturally.
Always remember: My general theme is 'There is no message.' There never has been. Stop trying to find the message or the meaning in everything. That's. My. Theme.
I don't prepare for anything very well. I am not a good actor. I don't read scripts.
I feel a strong affinity to Ke$ha and Katy Perry and a lot of these women who are really pushing the girl power femme fatale thing. It's fun, and it's unapologetic, and they tell women they can do whatever they want, and that's true, and that's a message that I want to carry, to tell girls they can do whatever they want.
I have a tough time with stand-up because I am an improviser. I can riff; I can do crowd work, so I don't prepare.
I do like the idea of being an auteur in the sense of writing and being in your own stuff.
A mother will come up to me and say, 'Will you meet my son? He loves you. He watched 'How to Train Your Dragon' a thousand times.'.
I think by now if people hire me, they know I'm going to improvise. I'm an improviser by trade.
It's okay to take yourself too seriously if you're a serious actor and you've got the scrubs on. And then with me, it's kind of like, well, I'm a comedian, I'm making fun of everybody and everything. And I'm making fun of myself. I'm having fun making fun of and for other people.
By the very nature of satire or parody, you have to love and respect your target and respect it enough to understand every aspect of it, so you can more effectively make fun of it.
Funny is as funny does, and funny puts on a walrus mask and slowly gyrates in a mall food court. I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.
I know about the tech industry in that I follow what apps are hot and software development. I know my way around different browsers. I know how to restart a computer.
'Yogi Bear' changed my life in ways that I can't explain because it's not a full feature on me. 'Yogi Bear' - there's everything before 'Yogi Bear,' and there's everything after 'Yogi Bear.' Like a major car accident, or the birth of Christ.
'Guardians of the Galaxy' is tongue-in-cheek and has a sense of humor about itself. But it's nothing like 'Deadpool.' 'Deadpool' is this super-bizarre thing. The best thing about it is that it's R-rated.
Slowly but surely, I went through different phases of fame, and each rises you further into isolation and alienation.
I consider everybody who takes themselves seriously to be a little bit off. And Silicon Valley seems to be the most effusive about how important their contributions are to society.
I was the Head Boy of East High School in 1999. I represent 303 - the area code, not the band - Mile High, until I die. I'm 31, a comedian; I juggle, but I don't glove it. I think waxed mustaches run a very thin line between hipster and 1800s barkeep.
I listen to 'deep dish house'.
Keep your elbows soft. Keep your elbows looking fine.
I try to be an ethical, moral person and a nice person, and I like to have that reflected in my comedy. I'm not a mean comedian, and I don't think that my comedy is mean. I think that for the most part, it's more focused on the diversity that we all handle and try to provide a distraction from the disaster of modern living.
I can't stand Snapchat, but that will be extinct before it is relevant.
They ask me what the biggest thing I have going on right now is, and I usually say, "I think this interview?" And then they don't get that it's a joke. So then I say, Yogi Bear 3D. That's my default.
I'm a stand-up. I'm never worried about getting my next role. That's never distressing to me.
If you're a psychologist, you can instrumentally change peoples lives for the better. But you can only do that for about 300 people to maybe a thousand people - if you're really prolific and you're working really hard.
My father always said I have a face for radio, and 'Cloverfield' was one of my finest pieces of work.
I care less about selling tickets and getting Twitter followers than I do about making as many people laugh as I can. I'd rather make people laugh than make them know who T.J. Miller is.
It's much better to wreak havoc on a show and be a maniac than promote myself. Plugs and anecdotes aren't really in line with my beliefs. Besides, if someone sees me on a morning show and thinks, 'That's not funny; this guy is crazy,' then I don't want them to come to the show anyway.
I always like to have a buffer between me and journalism in general. Not just a reporter, but journalism.
Movie is an industry without job security. As soon as a job is done, you have to find a job. But I think doing different stuff makes you better at other stuff: Acting makes you better at stand-up, which makes you better at writing.
I drink a fair amount of ramen noodles.
Probably the only way Woody Allen and I are similar is that he has a lot to say about Nietzsche.
When I was in high school, I was doing all the plays. My drama teacher, Melody Duggan, was the one one who first made me do stand-up. She's the origin of the whole thing; it's all her. In high school in Denver, that was kind of the beginning of it all.
Is it possible to have negative self-awareness?
I'm so absolutely pro-Denver. I wrote a fake hip-hop song about Denver. I've been claiming Denver. Part of the joke of the song is nobody was really claiming Denver - no rappers, no comedians.
Mike Judge is my Jonathan Swift, and I say that because I don't know any other satirists. But the problem with satire is that it's so easily misinterpreted.
Unfortunately, in the race to the most douchebaggery, Silicon Valley is fast in gaining on Hollywood. That race is neck and neck.
I think I'm just a comedian who's a pretty good con man, and I don't see that changing any time soon.
I have perfectly symmetrical ankles.
Every time I could possibly be doing stand up, I am.
Artists want to be congratulated because they should be.
To become the best comedian, I must be well-rounded.
I told the Mucinex people, 'You picked me because I always sound sick'. They were like, 'Well, it doesn't hurt'.
Hosting is a thankless job.
GOOD THINGS DO COME IN BEARS!!.... is how I climax.
I sound like a chain-smoking drag queen after a hard night of singing 'Tie a Yellow Ribbon'.
I acted in high school and studied at the British American Drama Academy in Oxford for one summer. I minored in theater, and I was always acting growing up and stuff, but really, I was just more interested in the comedy of it all. So for me, it's always comedy, and then acting is just one medium of comedy.
Rita Mae Brown
Mary Elizabeth Winstead
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